Today I got stuck in traffic.
Not sure what the hold-up was, but as my lane started to move, a late-model Nissan wedged itself in front of me. At the wheel was a young man who was clearly on a mission. I was annoyed for an instant, but it faded quickly. I had seen this a million times before, so I stayed in my lane. I watched for a while as the kid in the Nissan darted from lane to lane, trying to make headway. 30 minutes later, guess who was right back in front of me. Mr. Nissan.
We got to our destination at the same time.
When I was done laughing, I was struck by inspiration. This story was the perfect way to talk about a question that had been on my mind recently.
Why do some people make progress effortlessly while others don’t?
The answer is…they get stuck. I have identified 3 main stages that you must go through before you reach any goal. This works for big system goals as well as personal goals. The reason why most people don’t make progress toward their goals is that they get stuck in stage 1 and don’t progress to the other stages.
Stage 1 is chasing the White Rabbit.
This is where we look for the quick fix, that new app, pill, workout, or just a gap in traffic that will get us ahead with little effort. Don’t get me wrong, incremental progress is important, but often when we switch from one thing to another, it splits our focus, and we take one step forward and two back. I know, I have spent a lot of time in stage one. Growing up in California, I spent hundreds of hours of my life in traffic, so I was always trying to game the system and get to my destination ASAP. If the lane next to me started to move, I would desperately try to squeeze in, only to have that lane grind to a halt while the lane I was just in started to move again. I would swerve in and out of traffic, angling to gain a car length wherever I could. Sometimes it worked. Mostly it didn’t. Looking back, I realize it felt like progress at the moment, but didn’t actually move the needle that much.
As I logged more and more miles, I entered Stage 2, the Machine stage.
This is the stage where I started to recognize that there were external inputs that affected the system I was in. The time of day, day of the week, weather, and even sporting event schedules all had measurable effects on traffic patterns. If I paid attention to these inputs, I could adjust the way I drove and increase my chances of getting to my destination sooner– more often. I would still occasionally zip from lane to lane, which didn’t always work out, but by leveraging this data, I was making better time overall. I spent several years on stage 2, thinking I had it all figured out. Then one day, it happened.
I entered Stage 3… The Matrix.
One day, I stopped seeing cars and trucks and motorcycles, and I started to see people, people responding to input and making decisions. (Not always good decisions.) The cars and trucks were just an extension of the person inside. They had personalities and emotions, and they were expressed in the way they drove. With experience, I could read other drivers’ intentions and make decisions in real-time to adjust my place in the crowd and leverage a better position. It was like seeing into the future. This was not zipping from lane to lane. This was strategic and measured. When I switched lanes now, I knew it was going to save me time. Period. Multiply that by hundreds of drivers on my commute-- that savings compounded fast. This was a 10X jump in my efficiency. I got so good at it that, in some cases, I could purposely delay my departure time and still arrive early.
It took many years to master all three stages… but it didn’t have to.
The reason it took so long was partly because I was learning such a large system but mostly because I didn’t understand what the stages were yet. I was learning passively. I understand now that to make progress toward any goal, big or small, you have to experience all three stages. Each stage is important and has a purpose, and the sooner you master one, the sooner you can move to the next.
Now whenever I am setting a new goal, I ask myself these three main questions.
1. Where are the easy wins?
Don’t skip these, you need to build the reflex to see opportunity and act quickly. However, stay focused on the long game and don’t fall into the trap of scoring tiny wins at the expense of your overall goal.
2. What are the things outside of my control that affect this system?
Identify what those things are, study them and then leverage that knowledge to make informed decisions. You might not have control over those inputs, but knowing what they are can allow you to avoid the bad ones and capitalize on the good ones.
3. Who are the decision-makers in this system, and what motivates them?
Generally speaking, people run systems, and understanding what motivates someone (even yourself!) will give you insight into why they make the decisions that they make. You can turn that insight into foresight and avoid bottlenecks and traffic jams in real-time that can stall your progress.
I am not annoyed now when I see some kid dashing from lane to lane, trying to get ahead. We all want to make progress in life, and I empathize with that. When we understand that progress is made by seizing the opportunities that are in front of us, using information to make better decisions, and insight to see the pitfalls before they happen, we can all get to our destination on time, maybe even a bit early!
Thanks for the reminder, Mr. Nissan.
Thanks, I appreciate that. It turns out you have a lot of time to think when you're in traffic!
Loved this! So insightful!